Tax Day Accountant pick up lines for you to try

  1. 1. After filing today, I learned I have quite a strong flexible spending account. Are you flexible?

  2. 2. After I'm done with your assets you'll have to test for impairment

  3. 3. Are you 1040EZ? Cause need to fill you in

  4. 4. Are your assets temporarily or permanently restricted? BC I'd spare no expense to unrestrict them

  5. 5. Baby girl, I saw you talking to that guy over there. Don't. There's a going concern that he has significant control deficiencies.

  6. 6. Baby how bout we leave this McDonald's and get started on that additional child tax credit?

  7. 7. Baby if I take you home? It's an experience you ain't gonna be writing off anytime soon.

  8. 8. Baby, I wanna liquidate your assets.

  9. 9. Baby, your not just another journal entry, you balance my books.

  10. 10. Boy: Are you my revenue?

  11. 11. Girl: Why?

  12. 12. Boy: Because I'm so loss without you!

  13. 13. Can I be your external control?

  14. 14. Can I put my substance all over your form?

  15. 15. Do you have any obligations for tonight? BC I'd love to take you home and we can retire those assets.

  16. 16. Don't you try to claim an exemption, I saw you staring at me across the room.

  17. 17. Girl you meet all my criteria, so you better believe I am going to capitalize.

  18. 18. Girl you should've listed me as a deduction, cuz I am dependent on your love.

  19. 19. Girl, are you a tax accountant? Cus you make file for an extension

  20. 20. Girl: Is that a highlighter in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

  21. 21. Guy: No its a highlighter.....I use Becker wanna get naked?

  22. 22. Guy : Hey girl! What say we go back to your place and I Audit your Assets?

  23. 23. Girl : "But you barely even know me"

  24. 24. Guy: "Thats right Girl... Benefits while maintaining Independence

  25. 25. Guy: Your feet tired? Because you've been running in a straight line in my mind all day along.

  26. 26. Girl: I'm a MACRS 150 kind of girl, sorry.

  27. 27. Hey babe, what do ya say we go back to my cubicle and fondle each other's PBCs.

  28. 28. Hey beautiful, did you know that sex toys are deductible this year?

  29. 29. Hey girl, do you want to make a double entry in my ledger account if you know what I mean.

  30. 30. Hey girl, if I was an accountant, then you just accrued my love.

  31. 31. Hey, how bout you increase your charitable contributions by handing me your digits?

  32. 32. How 'bout we do it double entry

  33. 33. I can show you exactly how to earn your income tax credit.

  34. 34. I can't prove feasibility in this relationship. I have to write you off.

  35. 35. I don't care if you're rich or poor because I will make your cash flow.

  36. 36. I have incredibly liquid assets right now, and they're dying to get a good return.

  37. 37. I know I'm not a 99 or even an 85. I'm a 75, will you take me for who I am?

  38. 38. I like to delay my score release so you can enjoy some tension.

  39. 39. I should recognize you as a capital lease because I will own you at the end of the day.

  40. 40. I think we should swap some liquid assets.

  41. 41. I'd do just about anything to see your GAAP.

  42. 42. I'd love to amortize your discount on bonds payable.

  43. 43. I'll have to credit you for my asset depletion

  44. 44. I'll let you audit my assets if you let me audit yours. You'll be pleasantly surprised to see what's in my books.

  45. 45. I'll show you my "bits" if you promise not to "byte".

  46. 46. I'll show you my corpus if you show me yours!

  47. 47. I'm done being a sole proprietor, let's form a partnership

  48. 48. I'm gonna have to make some adjustments to your bottom line

  49. 49. I'm not ready for this projected benefit obligation.

  50. 50. I've been in public practice for several years, and that's easily the largest endowment I've ever seen.

  51. 51. I've got an option I'd like to exercise on those plan assets.

  52. 52. If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I near ENron so we could take it down together.

  53. 53. If I had you, I wouldn't need to perform so many manual entries

  54. 54. If I had you, I wouldn't need to use my Handbook.

  55. 55. If I help you screw Uncle Sam, can I be next?

  56. 56. In my office, "I.R.S." stands for 'I'm really sexy.'

  57. 57. IRS = I'm really sexy

  58. 58. Is _____ (name of whatever she's drinking) the material weakness in your internal control?

  59. 59. Lady, you make my pants file for an extension.

  60. 60. Let me tell you somethin: if you're filing with me? You're definitely filing a…'10-40.'

  61. 61. Let's fill out a 1040 — you're a 10, and I'm 40.

  62. 62. Lets try and make this triple bottom line.

  63. 63. Listen honey, being with me is so good it's taxable.

  64. 64. Listen I don't know what the hell an S corporation is, but I know I want to buy you a drink.

  65. 65. Listen, I'd love to sleep with you, but it's tax day and I feel like I've already been screwed by an entire government agency.

  66. 66. Listen, I've been auditing your body all night, and it is in damn fine standing.

  67. 67. My goodwill may be intangible, but my fixed assets are rock solid.

  68. 68. My Trial Balance just won't balance without you

  69. 69. Nice 'boot'.

  70. 70. Nice assets.

  71. 71. Normally I am strictly IFRS but for you I'd switch to GAAP because you are extraordinary

  72. 72. Please baby, let me withhold you.

  73. 73. Rest assured, I have a large enough staff for adequate coverage.

  74. 74. Sir : Hey madam, your assets are materially overstated.

  75. 75. Madam: So said who? The man with the very small bank account balance?

  76. 76. Sir: huh!

  77. 77. Madame: ah!

  78. 78. So do you file electronically around here often?

  79. 79. So, how do you feel about things in arrears?

  80. 80. Take me home tonight, and I guarantee you'll see an extraordinary item.

  81. 81. Technically, having sex with me is a charitable gift.

  82. 82. The moment I found you, my depreciation method changed from a double declining to a 150% declining balance

  83. 83. This inquiry has been nice, but I'd like to do a walk through of your operations.

  84. 84. This was just a sale-leaseback.

  85. 85. Trust me, I'm an accountant, I know how to manipulate firm assets

  86. 86. Wanna sneak out behind the 'hedge' and play with my financial instrument?

  87. 87. What do you say we go back to my place for some agreed upon procedures?

  88. 88. What do you say we spend the rest of our useful lives together?

  89. 89. While some of your assets are obviously not impaired, I'm afraid your major asset will turn out to be immaterial.

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