2. Should I tell my babysitter I'm going to be home late?
3. All I want in life is a man with clean underwear and a dirty mind.
4. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
5. Did I tell you I'm filthy rich and my mother's dead?
6. Do you still work or are you retired?
7. Happy Father's Day from someone who wants to have your babies.
8. Happy Father's Day to a genuine mother fucker.
9. Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body still seems to nail me.
10. Happy Father's Day. Can I call you "Daddy"?
11. Happy You-Knocked-Up-Mom Day
12. Hey baby, you better call life alert, because I've fallen for you and can't get up.
13. Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
14. Hope your Father’s Day is about you. I’ll keep the kids away to make sure that happens!
15. I have a small penis, but a big bank account.
16. I hope I haven't given you the wrong impression. I'm actually taller and richer than I look.
17. I want to bear all your children.
18. I want to spend the rest of your money with you.
19. I won't preach to ya, but I will be your daddy.
20. I would like to pay with cash upfront and take our relationship further and faster.
21. I'm looking for Mrs. Right.
22. If you see a woman walking up the road with a child or a baby stroller tell her you’ll go halves on another one.
23. It’s been wonderful making children with you. I wanted to be sure to let you know how much I appreciate the making part and the fact that we will enjoy it even more without worrying about more kids…THANKS!! Happy Father’s Day!
24. Mommy, why does Daddy want a time machine and a condom for Father's Day?
25. My heart still skips a beat when I see you, hear you, or even think about you. I can barely focus on the message that’s supposed to be in this card… By the way…Happy Father’s Day! That was it!!
26. Want to win my heart? Talk YARN to me big daddy...
27. When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
28. Who's your daddy?
29. Would you rather have "As good as it gets!" for a few more years or "Is that all there is?" for the rest of your life?
30. You always say that there’s a tool for everything. You’re right. The stud-finder worked miracles when it came to getting the perfect hubby! Happy Father’s Day!
31. You are my daddy.
32. Your kid is beautiful. I see he/she takes after his/her dad.
33. Your pick-up lines are almost as old as you are.