dick pick up lines for you to try

  1. 1. Would you rather sit on a dick an eat a cake or sit on a cake and eat a dick?...... Cool, give me your number and address and I'll be round soon with a cake.

  2. 2. I'd crawl over a thousand miles of broken glass just to suck the dick of the last guy you slept with.

  3. 3. Do you like tapes and CD's? Cause I'm gonna tape this dick to your forehead so you CD's nuts.

  4. 4. That I’d suck your dads dick just to get the recipe

  5. 5. When you want to sit it stands up.

  6. 6. Whenever you’re around, my dick starts to swell.

  7. 7. It stands up so you can sit down

  8. 8. Cuz this dick is Microsoft.

  9. 9. Because you look smaller in person.

  10. 10. Cause I use it for snacks like you

  11. 11. It'll even stand up and give you somewhere to sit

  12. 12. Candice who? Candice dick fit in your mouth?

  13. 13. Are you the Russian president? Cause I wanna be Putin my dick in you

  14. 14. Then you'll love my personality

  15. 15. Want to come back to my place to see my huge Phillip K. Dick collection?

  16. 16. Hey girl, I call my dick kryptonite. 'Cuz it'll leave that pussy powerless.

  17. 17. Are you a Leviathan? Because you make my dick rise.

  18. 18. Israel who? Do you wanna little Jewish in you, cause this dick Israel. 

  19. 19. I heard you like Magic sweetheart, well bend over and watch my dick disappear.

  20. 20. Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?

  21. 21. Can I put my spooky dick, in your haunted pussy?

  22. 22. If you were a female gnome warlock, you would probably think I have a big dick.

  23. 23. When I see you, my dick is Dublin size.

  24. 24. Because i wanna get my dick stuck in you.

  25. 25. Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

  26. 26. Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this dick.

  27. 27. I'm no Republican, but call me Bush... My Dick is my sidekick.

  28. 28. Wanna know the real reason they call me “Tricky Dick”?

  29. 29. Are you from Africa? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this dick?

  30. 30. Is your name Dora? Cause I'll let you explore this dick.

  31. 31. Are you from Ireland? 'Cuz my dick's-a-Dublin! [Look down at your crotch]

  32. 32. I got bit on the dick by a rattlesnake and I need you to suck out the poison.

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